How To Starve Your Fears

Fear Must Be Fed to Stay Alive

Our fears must be fed to stay alive. We feed them by…

  • Letting them tell us no to dreams or goals
  • Agreeing with their lies
  • Settling for doing without

So how do we stop feeding them? It’s easy to ‘say’ we won’t feed them but doing it is another story. We have to decide we are going to begin starving our fear(s) ON PURPOSE, and then begin the process of actually doing it.

It begins with recognizing the fears we are feeding. They come in various forms. The fears that can stop us from reaching goals or accomplishing dreams look like these:

  • Speaking in public
  • Talking to people (face-to-face or on the phone)
  • Change
  • The unknown
  • Sharing what you have to offer
  • Success itself (yes…that is definitely a thing!)

The first step in starving them is realizing we want whats on the other side of them more than the life we have right now with them.

Step 1 – What Do You Want

What is fear keeping you from?

  • A better lifestyle
  • A future
  • A new home
  • A family vacation
  • Independence
  • Financial freedom
  • Retirement
  • Giving generously
  • Helping others (more)
  • other…

Once we can visualize what is on the other side of fear, we need to imagine how it will feel when we get there.

Step 2 – Feel the Difference

Once you have a visual image of what fear is keeping you from – step across to that other side of fear and imagine your new life. How will it feel when…

  • You are living the life you imagined
  • You have a future you can be excited about
  • You walk into that new home
  • You take your family on that dream vacation
  • You no longer have the stress of living pay check to pay check
  • You see your retirement savings begin to grow
  • You write that first significant check to the charity of your passion

Step 3 – Write A Letter To Yourself

FIRST – Write a thank you note to your future self expressing how much you love the results that came from starving your fears and getting to the other side of them.

Dear [your name],

Thank you for taking that purposeful step to stop feeding the fear of [insert fear] so that I could be here today…. [Continue to describe where you are, what it looks like, how you feel, what people are saying to you and about you. What you are thinking about yourself.]

Thank you for focusing on what you can do and starving the lies of fear that said you couldn’t….

Step 4 – Write A Letter To Fear

NOW…write a letter to fear declaring your intentions to starve it to death. Be specific about what the fear is and what you are going to do ON PURPOSE to stop feeding it.

Dear Fear,

For too long I have fed you and allowed you to keep me from [insert the specific thing waiting for you on the other side of that fear]. Today is the day I begin the process of starving you.

It may not happen all at once, but you will be starved and I WILL move beyond you and into my vision for my future.

You tell me that [list the lies your fear tells you that keeps you from moving to the other side of it]

Starting today I am claiming my future and will starve you by [list the things you will do to starve the fear one day at a time].

Here is an example of how a list might look.


  • People will think I am pushy
  • If people want something, they will ask me
  • I’m not good at talking about it
  • etc…


  • I am not pushy when I ask questions and find out how I can help people
  • I will no longer be selfish and keep these good things to myself
  • I will practice sharing with friends and family and get comfortable with my words
  • etc…

Once your letters are written, read them aloud. Then…put them in a place where you can read them regularly. Pull them out and read them aloud every time fear is asking to be fed. Remind yourself of what’s waiting for you on the other side of that fear.

As always, we have to want to do it ON PURPOSE to make it a reality. Schedule a time to go through this exercise. Make a date with yourself and show up for it.

Fear is betting on you to be a no show.

Its life depends on it!

Do Something On Pur•pose today...
  • What date have you scheduled to do this exercise? 
  • When do you want to begin starving your fear?
  • What might get in your way of starving your fear? 
  • How can you overcome that obstacle? 


Need help? Let’s connect. Living on purpose is not a special skill or ability that some have and some do not. We all have everything within us to live on purpose, but sometimes we need help finding it! My passionate purpose is to help others sort and sift through the questions that lead them to the truths that already exist within them. Wanna chat? 

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