Less GET – More GIVE


It’s a simple 3 letter word, but it can complicate our mindset without us even realizing it. We use it without thinking about it – habitually, not intentionally.

Why does this simple word have the power to drive a negative mindset? Simply this… we don’t have the power to make people do things.

  • We can’t GET people to do…
    We can’t GET people to respond…
  • We can’t GET people to buy…
  • We can’t GET people to join…

We only have the power to influence our own behavior. To flip a ‘get’ mindset, we must flip our word choice – and the opposite of get is give.

Replace GET with GIVE

  • We can GIVE people options to reach goals and do…
  • We can GIVE people information to respond to…
  • We can GIVE people solutions to buy…
  • We can GIVE people opportunities to join…

They can choose to take them… or not.

Even when we don’t use the word ‘get’ in our verbal communications, when it’s in our thoughts or mindset, it comes across in our emotional language and even our body language.

I may not be saying with my words ‘I need to get you to….’, but I may be thinking it.


When our mindset is getting someone to do something (get a result / get a sale / get …), it comes across in our emotional language as desperation. This causes the people we are communicating with to feel like they are being used, not served – or – manipulated, not heard.

When our mindset is that we are giving something (giving opportunity / giving solutions / giving information), the desperation is replaced with connection. People we are communicating with feel served and heard. They lose the feeling that we need them to answer, act or respond in a specific way so we get a result that fills our own needs over theirs.

In addition, when our mindset is shifted from ‘get’ to ‘give’, we lose the internal sense of desperation that flows from feeling that we are constantly failing.

When our mindset is that we expect to get (results/sales/actions) out of people, we set ourselves up to feel like we fail over and over. Read it again slowly…

We don’t have the ability to make people ‘do’ anything – but our ‘get’ mindset says we have not been successful until we ‘get’ people to ‘do’ what we are ‘telling’ them to do – we are always falling short of our expected result.

A ‘give’ mindset sets us up to feel successful over and over. We are in control of giving, not getting.

  • We are in control of whether we give information or not.
  • We are in control of whether we give ideas or not.
  • We are in control of whether we give solutions or not.

When we give – we are successful.

Now the ball is in the court of the receiver.

Their actions do NOT determine our sense of success.

  • Pay attention to your ‘get/give’ mindset.
  • When working with people, ask yourself if you are expecting to ‘get’ a result from them or if you are just there to ‘give’.
  • Listen to yourself. How often do you hear yourself say (or write) things like:
    • I can’t get her to…
    • I can’t get people to…
  • Use ‘get’ as a trigger word to remind yourself to switch to a ‘giving’ mindset.

Need help? Let’s connect. Living on purpose is not a special skill or ability that some have and some do not. We all have everything within us to live on purpose, but sometimes we need help finding it! My passionate purpose is to help others sort and sift through the questions that lead them to the truths that already exist within them. Wanna chat?